i cannot erase
this killing feeling
rumbling through my body
piercing my forehead
slicing my heart
my other side
outside the circle of hate
into the realm of love
away from me for the moment
and in that moment i cry
cold and unsure
how do i handle myself
where should i turn
and to what degree
a fifth or a shot
a poster or a snipette
a roach or a poudn
a sliver or a steak
a cut or a gash
the door opens
my heart fills
i take her in my arms
and hide the pills for later
to indulge in self hatred
when alone again